The “Couple’s” Resolution

 

The “Couple’s” Resolution

By Regina Bright, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Board Certified Sex Therapist

At the beginning of every year, millions of people make New Year’s resolutions. They often have individual goals such as lose weight, save money, eat healthy, get a better education, quit smoking, quit drinking, earn more money, change jobs, exercise regularly, or spend more time with their families. However, there is one resolution that isn’t heard, “let’s work on our relationship.” While it may not be spoken, couples with marital issues may be hoping that their relationship improves this year. As couple’s struggle with communication, their relationship becomes more strained.

This year, why not resolve to give yourself and your relationship a "special gift." This will truly be the gift that keeps on giving; leaving you and your partner with a positive feeling throughout the year.  

Couple’s counseling helps clients rediscover their relationship while learning new ways to communicate more effectively. Working together with a trained therapist can help you become “unstuck” in your marital journey. This can lead to learning strategies that continually bring new life to your relationship.  

 

Regina Bright is the owner of Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, a Mary Esther practice. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Board Certified Sex Therapist, a Clinical Supervisor, a Parent Coordinator and a Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator. At Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, they provide individual, group, couple’s and family counseling. You can reach her at 850-226-6430 or SteppingStonesCounseling.org

 

 

Beating Holiday Stress with Basic Meditations

Beating Holiday Stress with Basic Meditations

Regina Bright, MS, LMHC, BCST

Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Board Certified Sex Therapist

 

 

Holidays can be stressful. Between work, parenting, in-laws, Holiday guests, shopping, traveling, and cooking, (I believe the Holiday term is hustle and bustle) life can seem pretty hectic this time of year.

When I am feeling overwhelmed, I take a time out to relax and do short meditation exercises. Here are a couple of my favorites:  

Deep Breathing Exercise

Begin in a quiet comfortable area with no distractions of cell phones, T.V.’s, computers, etc.  Remember, our goal is to quiet our mind and to remain in the moment. Don’t get discouraged if you are not able to do this the first time. It took me several times to get the hang of it.  

Sit up straight and tall, feet on the floor, and hands on your tummy. Take a deep breath (in through the nose and out through the mouth) and release. Notice your ribs expand while the rest of your body is motionless. Breathe deep, slow, and smoothly. Your exhale should be twice as long as your inhale. Focus solely on your breath. If a thought comes up, bring your attention back to your breath. You are in control – resist distractions. Try this exercise daily, remember meditation is a practice.

Meditation Using Your Senses

Next time you are at the coffee shop, make your focus a cup of hot coffee. Notice the sounds around you – people talking, the steam from the cappuccino machine, the sound of whipped cream topping off a Frappuccino.  Notice the colorful ceramic cup, the steam, and the creamer swirling around the rim. Notice the fragrant aroma of the dark coffee beans. Notice the warm liquid going down your throat and warming your tummy. Notice how the warmth of the cup is warming your cold hands. Notice the taste of your favorite winter drink.

Notice what it feels like to slow down and live in the moment – it isn’t a race to get through life!

 Great Mood Boosters and Stress Reducers

Asparagus = boosts mood and calms nervous system

Avocado = reduces stress, calms nervous system, and boosts mood

Bananas = calms nervous system and increases serotonin

Blueberries = reduces stress and boosts mood

Carrots = reduces stress

Cayenne = reduces depression

Chamomile = calms nervous system

Chia seeds = boosts mood

Citrus scents = boosts levels of norepinephrine

Coconuts = boosts mood

Coldwater fish = reduces stress

Dark Chocolate = reduces stress

Exercise = reduces anxiety and depression, boosts overall mental health, reduces stress, improves sleep

Flaxseed = boosts mood

Green smoothie = boosts energy

Holding hands = calms nerves

Honey = energy, antioxidant, and improves immunity

Hugs = releases oxytocin and relieves stress

Iron = alleviates fatigue and prevents anemia

Jasmine = scent calms the nervous system and reduces anxiety

Kale = boosts mood

Lavender = smelling lavender has a calming effect; reduces stress

Leafy greens = reduces stress and boosts energy

Lemon balm tea = reduces stress

Lemons = scent has a calming effect; reduces stress

Mango = calming fruit

Massage = stress reducer

Music = great anxiety reducer, stimulates blood flow, and is good for your heart

Nuts & seeds = reduces stress, calms nervous system, and boosts mood

Oats = decreases depression

Oranges / pink grapefruit = reduces stress and boosts mood

Peppermint = scent boosts mood

Quenepa = antioxidant, regulates hormones, and helps with sleep

Raspberries = calms nervous system

Raw cacao = boosts mood and calms nervous system

Rosemary = scent helps with mental fatigue

Sex = boosts immunity, stress reducer, helps insomnia, increases endorphins, and increases oxytocin levels

Spinach = boosts mood and calms nervous system

Sweet potatoes = calms nervous system

Swiss chard = boosts mood

Tomatoes = boosts mood

Vanilla = smelling vanilla has a calming effect

Walking = increases serotonin

Vitamin D = increases serotonin

Yogurt = increases serotonin

 

Regina Bright, MS, LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Board Certified Sex Therapist

Clinical Supervisor

Parent Coordinator

Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator 

Stepping Stones Professional Counseling

151 Mary Esther Blvd. Suite 310 A.

Mary Esther, Fl 32569

850-226-6430

Fax: 850-254-1986

www.steppingstonescounseling.org

www.facebook.com/steppingstonescounseling

 

 

 

 Therapist Blog Challenge #12

 

 

Gratitude, Thankfulness, Appreciation, Acknowledgment: How do you give THANKS?

Gratitude is beneficial to both the one giving and the one receiving. You can show gratitude to others by saying “please and thank you,” “yes Ma’am/ Sir and no Ma’am/ Sir.”

There are many creative ways to express gratitude. It can be as simple as getting up in the morning and acknowledging that you woke up – not everyone has that privilege!

Instead of getting mad at your significant other, show them gratitude. Make an effort to communicate more effectively instead of being critical or judgmental.

When you are having a hard day at work, take a break and remember some of the good days that you’ve had that month – don’t forget that it is only a bad day, not a bad life.

Research shows that individuals that express gratitude have:

a.               A more positive outlook on life

b.              Are physically healthier – tougher immune system – lower blood pressure

c.               Less stressed

d.              More likely to forgive others

e.               Less lonely and more connected with others

f.                  Happier

g.              Better sleep patterns

h.              More refreshed

i.                  Have stronger relationships

Instead of using a gratitude journal, I started using a Gratitude jar. Having a gratitude jar reminds us of the feeling we felt when we were “in the moment.” It allows us to be more mindful and present.

Gratitude Jar

Find a jar: a mason jar, a decorative vase, a fish bowl, etc. and start recording all of your happy memories and events throughout the year. Keep some decorative paper close so that you can jot these memories down and place them in the jar.  When you are having a bad day, you can reach into your gratitude jar and remember all of the good times that you have had throughout the year.

Studies show that individuals who show gratitude feel happier and were more determined to achieve their life goals.

·         Be creative when writing down what you are grateful for.

·         Be specific when you reflect back on your memory so that you won’t forget any important details.

·         If possible, be personal and include names when writing down your entry.

·         Include blessings: spirituality, parents, kids, spouse, etc.

·         Don’t forget life’s surprises: unexpected events, awards, visitors, etc.

Here are a few of my entries for 2013. I chose one from each month to share with you. J

January:  Thankful for my husband. Our anniversary is January 1^st so he is the first person I think of when celebrating the New Year.

February: This year we celebrated Valentine’s Day at the Vue restaurant in Grayton Beach. It was absolutely beautiful. My husband Perry surprised me and my little girl with a dozen roses, balloons, candies, and presents. I am very grateful for having such a giving husband. He sure makes us feel special!

March: We had a wonderful time at Disney World for a week. We stayed at one of our Time Shares and enjoyed the Parks and Arabian Nights. I am very grateful for having such a wonderful family and being able to take mini vacations throughout the year.

April: My daughter’s 9^th birthday! We rented Brava Salon for a few hours where my daughter and ten of her closest friends got to have their hair, make-up, toes, and nails done. Then we had Nonie’s Ark come with all of her animals. After the party was over, we went to Marina Café for dinner. Afterwards, we went home and opened presents – my daughter started crying when she opened her new Android Smart Phone. What a memory this day was! It warms my heart to see my daughter’s grateful heart.

May: On Mother’s Day we went to Seaside for an Art Festival. My daughter played on the paddle skateboards and walked around the shops. Afterwards, we ate dinner at A Fish out of Water. What a beautiful day; feeling very loved.

June: Schools out; my favorite time of year. No more homework or studying for tests! We can stay up late, watch movies, picnics at the beach, swim at the pool, and have slumber parties in the living room. I feel very grateful that we are such a close family.

July: We went to Crab Island today and took our 3 Labrador Retrievers: Roxy – my 12 year old Chocolate Lab, Gator – my 7 year old Blonde Lab, and Mr. Chomper – my one year old Black Lab. We packed lunch and spent the day swimming and boating. Afterwards we went home, washed the dogs, and cooked out. I love summer. I feel very blessed to have weekends off to spend time with my family.

August: Back to school shopping! We spent the day at Destin Commons. We took Noelle to Justice, one of her favorite stores, so that she could pick out sparkly, glittery outfits. Afterwards, we went to Bonefish for dinner. Today, I am thankful that I have a husband who likes to shop.    

September: Labor Day is already here. This year we spent the day cooking out and spending time with my parents. I am very grateful that they live in my neighborhood.

October: We surprised Noelle with a trip to Disney World for having exceptional grades! We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Resort. We were able to see so many different animals roaming right outside of our balcony. We went Trick or Treating with Mickey Mouse at the Not So Spooky Halloween Party. Another evening we went to a pool party where we roasted smores on the campfire and played ping pong by the pool. I am very thankful that we are able to give Noelle such wonderful memories.

November: I love Thanksgiving because I love to EAT and I love to COOK! We are spending Thanksgiving over at my Uncle Gary’s this year. We are all cooking casseroles to bring over to his house for our Thanksgiving Feast. I thoroughly enjoy spending the Holidays with my Aunts, Uncles, Mom, Dad, Cousins, Husband, and my little Noelle. I am very grateful for my health, my friends, and my family.

 

 

 

Regina Bright, MS, LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Board Certified Sex Therapist

Clinical Supervisor

Parent Coordinator

Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator

 

Stepping Stones Professional Counseling

151 Mary Esther Blvd. Suite 310 A.

Mary Esther, Fl 32569

850-226-6430

Fax: 850-254-1986

www.steppingstonescounseling.org

www.facebook.com/steppingstonescounseling



Therapist Blog Challenge #11

Steps to a Stronger Relationship

 

Blog Challenge #9

10 Most Recommended Self-Help Books

10 Most Recommended Self-Help Books

 Keep Calm and Carry On, by Mark A. Reinecke, Ph.D. Learn how to manage your anxiety and move through stressful situations with lessons derived from Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Click to order



It Must Have Been Moonglow, by Phyllis Greene. This is a beautiful and eloquently written book by a woman who was widowed after 56 years of marriage. She shares a personal perspective of her journey through widowhood.

Click to order



The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Everybody has a Love Language - men, women, boys, and girls. This is a wonderful book that we can all relate to. Learn what your partner’s love language is by doing a short quiz in the back of the book. What is your Love Language? Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts, or Words of Affirmation.

Click to order


Have a New Kid by Friday, by Kevin Leman. This is a well-organized book on how to change a child’s negative behavior. Step by step chapters for every day of the week.

Click to order



Self-Nurture, by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D. and Henry Dreher. This is an excellent book on how to start making yourself a priority. With the motivational stories, short exercises, and meditations, you will be able to swing your focus to self-care. It's time to make yourself a priority!

Click to order

 

The Self Esteem Guided Journal, by Mathew McKay, Ph.D. This book is a 10 week program on how to build your self-worth through guided journaling. Change negative thinking patterns, identify strengths, and learn how events from the past have affected your self-esteem today.

Click to order

 

The Self-Esteem Workbook, by Glenn R. Schiraldi. Learn how to handle your emotions, self- nurture, implement goals and increase self-worth..

Click to order



Shut Up and Live (You Know How), A 93 Year Old's Guide to Living to a Ripe Old Age, by Marion P. Downs. Need motivation? This is one lady that is living her life to the fullest!

Click to order

 

Homecoming, by John Bradshaw. This is an excellent book that helps you to address unfinished business from your past so that you can live in the present.

Click to order


Overcoming Bipolar Disorder Workbook, by Amy M. Kilbourne Ph.D., Devra E. Greenwald, Evette J. Ludman Ph.D., and Mark S. Bauer. This book provides an extensive educational element that encourages a person with bipolar disorder to explore their own experiences and inspires them to take action in what personally works for them.

Click to order

 

 

Regina Bright, MS, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Board Certified Sex Therapist
Clinical Supervisor
Parent Coordinator
Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator

Stepping Stones Professional Counseling
151 Mary Esther Blvd. Suite 310 A.
Mary Esther, Fl 32569
850-226-6430
Fax: 850-254-1986www.steppingstonescounseling.org
www.facebook.com/steppingstonescounseling



Blog Challenge #5

Therapists are People, Too

Therapists are People, Too

 by Martin Miron

 

 

Therapists know that it is necessary to take good care of their own mental health, because their clients depend on them. Just because a practitioner may know everything there is to know about stress management doesn’t mean they can’t become mentally exhausted.

Regina Bright, LMHC, owner of Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, in Mary Esther, has been working in the mental health field as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Board Certified Sex Therapist, Clinical Supervisor, Parent Coordinator and Certified Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator. She states, “I listen to clients in crisis for many hours a day, providing support, empathy, interpretation and direction. Therapists can easily lose track of their own issues, ignore their own problems and at times, have a difficult time shutting off the therapeutic process.”

If a therapist should begin to feel any “depersonalization” toward clients, or even themself, it might be a symptom of emotional fatigue. Bright enumerates a few ways that she likes to stay balanced.

“I use my colleagues’ expertise regularly. We go to lunch and consult each other on difficult cases. We bounce around different techniques and approaches that could heighten the therapeutic process.

“I belong to many professional organizations and am very involved in my community. I feel that if I have the support of my community, then I am not alone in my journey.

“I enjoy spending time with my family. Going to the beach and reading or walking is especially refreshing. I take two trips a year with the family, and then one with just my husband.

“I have developed many friendships over the years, and I enjoy spending time with many different groups of people. I am very thankful for the friendships that I have made.

“In college, I could do everything that came to my mind. I achieved more things in one day than most people did in a week. Now, I want to balance giving and getting—with attention to my family, friends, spouse, community and solitude.”

As a mental health professional, self-care is a minimum standard of professional practice, and Bright insists that her clients deserve to be served by a healthy, well-balanced health care professional.

 

To contact Stepping Stones Professional Counseling call 850-226-6430.

www.facebook.com/steppingstonescounseling

Blog Challenge #7

 

Quick Tips to Great Mental Health

Quick Tips to Great Mental Health

By Regina Bright, MS, LMHC

 



 

Individuals who maintain a healthy diet are more likely to have overall great physical health. Likewise, there is relationship between diet and mood, proposing that foods containing a higher nutritional value can safeguard individuals from stress, depression, ADHD, and anxiety. Try choosing unprocessed foods, organic foods, fresh fruit, and leafy vegetables. A healthy diet also includes adequate amounts of complex carbohydrates, essential fats, vitamins and water.

Routine weekly exercise increases activity in both the brain's frontal lobe and in the hippocampus. Exercise naturally boosts levels of serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. These neurotransmitters are linked to elevating mood.

Mindful meditation helps with so many physical and psychological problems associated with high blood pressure, chronic pain, psoriasis, sleep, anxiety, and depression.

Hobbies are an effective way in reducing stress. Hobbies provide an escape from stressors of our daily life.  Furthermore, by reducing stress you are helping your heart in lowering blood pressure. Participating in activities can also help in reducing fatigue, loneliness and depressed mood. Mentally stimulating hobbies such as reading, playing board games, and doing crossword puzzles can minimize memory loss in senior citizens.

Vitamin D  plays a big role in cognition and mental health. When the sun shines, both our energy and mood improves due to the sun's ability in increasing both endorphins and serotonin. Sunshine helps your body make melatonin, the sleep inducing hormone that aids in a sound sleep. 

 

 

 

Regina Bright, MS, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Board Certified Sex Therapist
Clinical Supervisor
Parent Coordinator
Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator

Stepping Stones Professional Counseling
151 Mary Esther Blvd. Suite 310 A.
Mary Esther, Fl 32569
850-226-6430
Fax: 850-254-1986www.steppingstonescounseling.org
www.facebook.com/steppingstonescounseling

Refresh Your Relationship this Summer!

Refresh Your Relationship this Summer!

 

Sometimes our relationships can become stagnant. It’s time to reignite the flame and restore the passion that you and your partner deserve.

·         Being social… look for healthy couples to hang out with. Summer is the time for BBQ’s, pool parties, camping, picnics in the park, and going to the beach. Socializing with other couples will bring about new adventures to add to your list.

·         Priority… make your partner feel special. Let them know that your relationship is at the top of your priority list. Brainstorm different ways that you can show them daily.

·         Communication… learn to be an effective communicator. Being a good communicator means being a good listener. Most couples listen with the intent to reply, instead, listen with the intent to understand.

·         Play nice… it’s not always going to be fun and games. There will be times that you and your partner don’t get along. Watch your tone. No name-calling, no degrading, and no blaming.  Before you speak, ask yourself, “is this helping or hurting the relationship?” And, if you slip up, don’t forget to apologize.

·         Helping others... volunteering at a Church, soup kitchen, women’s shelter, animal shelter, Red Cross, or nursing home is a great way to give back to the community and will leave you and your partner with a sense of accomplishment. 

·         Be spontaneous… routines are great; however, it can make a relationship feel monotonous. Break up the routine from time to time to make things more exciting.   

·         Respect and accept lovingly… learn to accept your partner for the things that you like and don’t like. Respect each other’s differences.  Allow your partner to be themselves. If we mold our partner to be what we wish they were, then we only love the reflection of ourselves.

·         Take a time-out… everyone needs alone time. Take a personal day and enjoy being with yourself. Go for a walk, have a spa day, hit some balls on the golf course etc. 

·         Surprises… they don’t have to be elaborate, just something to let your partner know that you are thinking of them. Maybe a card to let your partner know how much you appreciate them, a smiley face balloon to brighten a tough day at work, a bouquet of seasonal flowers, or a gourmet box of chocolates to share while watching a romantic movie.  Surprises can also come in other forms –straightening up the garage or cleaning up the kitchen can be a great gift.

·         Intimacy… as a couple’s counselor, I hear more times than not that, “we just don’t have time” or, “we are so tired at the end of the day.” Intimacy not only means physical affection, it also means emotional affection. Take time to talk to your partner about your emotional and physical needs. Discuss how you can improve in these areas and follow-through. J

·         Household duties… make a list of what you are responsible for and what your partner is responsible for in the home. Is it equal? Evenly distributed chores could equal more intimacy.  Remember how I said that I hear couples say, “I am just too tired at the end of the day.”J

·         Experience something new… with social media; there is so much exposure to new and exciting things. Visit Pinterest and see what excites you!  Maybe redo a room together or learn how to make sushi this Friday night.J

·         Spending quality time together… Between work, household chores, and shuttling the children, it is sometimes hard to give each other undivided attention. Schedule some uninterrupted time for the two of you on the family calendar.

Here are some activities that might spark your interest!

   White water rafting

   Cooking class

   Geocaching

   Learn a new language

   Go for a swim

   Rock climb at the gym

   Photography

   Breakfast in bed

   Kayaking

   Plant a tree to symbolize the relationship

   Take an art class

   Fondue date night

   Stargaze – enjoy a cold drink on the patio and look at the stars

   Meditate

   Go bird watching

   Plant an herb garden

   Take a mini road trip

   See a local play

   Horseback ride

   Bowling

   Buy art supplies and paint a picture of each other

   Dinner and a movie with a theme – rent “The Three Amigos” and eat Mexican food

   Aquarium

   Zoo

   Circus

   Rodeo

   Go-carts

   Mini golf

   Sailing

   Bubble bath for two

   Hiking

   Bike ride

   Poetry class

   Paddle boarding

   Yoga

   Tube a local river

   Jet ski

   Go to an art gallery

   Learn how to play an instrument

   Make a 4 course meal together

   Give each other massages

   Search restaurants in your area and find a new one that you haven’t been to

   Relax by the fireplace and roast marshmallows

   Learn to dance

   Science Center

   Sign up for a race: Mud Run or Color Run

   Help out with a charity

   Go roller skating

   Fulfill your bucket list

   Pottery class

   Meet your neighbors

   Homemade pizza night

   Go to a bed and breakfast

   Go to a comedy show

   Rent mopeds and travel around town

   Have a 5 course dinner at different restaurants….

   Truth or Dare

   Take a surf lesson

   Plan a new tradition

   Zip lining

   Go to the gourmet section and pick out a new coffee to enjoy in the morning

   Make candy or bake a cake

   Museum

   Go to the arcade

   Candlelight dinner at home

   Make a list of 5 things that you love about your partner /exchange lists

   Camp out in the living room

   You plan half of the evening and your partner plan the other half

   Host a dinner party

   Hot tub

   Wake up early and watch the sunrise

   Board game night

   Waterpark

   Browse the bookstore and pick out a book for each other

   Plan a vacation for a year from now

   Watch a local band

   Go to a sporting event

   Flea market

   Frisbee

   Tennis

   Puzzle

   Watch the sunset

   Parade of homes

   Karaoke

   Paint a room in your house

   Change the furniture around

   Spend the day browsing the shops

   Antiquing

   Watch a local band

   Go golfing

   Collect seashells

   Reenact your first date

   Go to a local farm and pick fruit

   Ice skating

   Talk about dreams for the future

   Take the dog to the dog park

   Beach volleyball

   Detail the cars

   Have brunch this weekend

   Enjoy a new cuisine – Vietnamese, German, Italian, French

   Dodge ball

Regina Bright, MS, LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Board Certified Sex Therapist

Clinical Supervisor

Parent Coordinator

Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator

 

Stepping Stones Professional Counseling

151 Mary Esther Blvd. Suite 310 A.

Mary Esther, Fl 32569

850-226-6430

Fax: 850-254-1986

www.steppingstonescounseling.org

www.facebook.com/steppingstonescounseling

 

 Blog Challenge #8